I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
