I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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