Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
