It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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