After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
