We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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