Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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