his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
