its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
