I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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