what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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