ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Please don't give away my fajitas
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