We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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