I wish i was in the wii world.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize