The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
