you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
