if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
