I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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