You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
