Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize