Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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