Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
