Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
