New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
