the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
