I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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