This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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