her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
this is an emotional support booty call
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
