you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i am craving dick and cupcakes
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
