I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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