I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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