Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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