i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize