she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
