distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
