areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just cropdusted the office
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
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