You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
