I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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