you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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