I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
