Are we in a gay sports bar?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just invented taco cereal.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
