Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
