he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
