the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
