you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
