My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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