walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
