There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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