The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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