Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i think i just lost a toe
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
