I love black thongs
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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