Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
