she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
