I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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