piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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