Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
These tits shall not be calmed
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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