You work out of a Hotel?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize