It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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