Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
