Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
