VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
