I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
