Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need to wash the frat house off of me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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