dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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