Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
