I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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