i can't believe i had my finger in that
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
