Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
