Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
