kristin has been a bad kristin
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize