Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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