I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
