Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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