So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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