I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize