Got a toothbrush?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
