Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Pants are for mortals
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
