Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So vagazzling was a success
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
