As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
